Stare into the fire.
The smoke from the fire catches the breeze and blows a billow into his face. He blinks hard as the burn causes them to tear up. He reopens them and see that the wind has blown the smoke off in the other direction. Out in the middle of the desert, the stars shine down in a majestic way. He escapes out to the refuge of the desert once or twice a year to sit below these stars. There is not much to do for the average person, but he enjoys climbing the rocks that seem too perfectly placed for any other purpose. Once his hands are raw from the coarse granite, the desert wild flowers are something to be amazed by each spring when they avail themselves for a few short weeks. Even sitting there long after the sun as descended below the horizon when the coyotes howl off in the distance, the crickets playing their melody all around you, but nowhere to be seen, there is enjoyment.
This is it. A place that has an uncanny feel to it. It may not be what it has, but maybe what it lacks that allows an undeniable voice to be heard as more than an echo.
I cannot describe how beautiful you are. Out here when there are no phones to answer, no people to distract, no business to attend to, I can sit and marvel at the crickets melody. Are they crying out to praise you? Do the rocks I stand on top of, moan for your glory? I sit here in awe of you.
If I only allowed myself to live your message it would be a different world. Break my paradigm and replace it with yours. Here I am, use me to live out the life you've given. Give me the strength to rise, the courage to stand, the humbleness to remember where it came from.
I have fallen short of what you want for me, but yet you still encourage me to follow. I am trying to see myself as you see me, I am trying to see others as you see them.
Your paradigm is becoming mine.
The words screamed but not heard by the ear. No, these words need not be spoken for any to hear. A tear wells up in the corner of my eye, not from the smoke changing direction, but from my heart changing form. I keep staring into the fire and see more than just the wood is being consumed.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Brandon's Paradigm
Brandon's Paradigm
He stood on the stage in front of the youth. The lighting seemed perfect, as if Hollywood itself had hired its best technicians to have him dimly lit as the center of all attention. He stood, his eyes watering, as he held the small half-sheet of paper in his hand. His lips were already quivering before he began to read.
He was twenty-three years old. He had just graduated from college. This was the first summer of the rest of his life. As all of God's messages are, the timing of his teaching was perfectly planned.
As he finished reading, his ears encountered a long silence. The all-too-welcoming darkness in the room hid the somber faces but could not muffle the sound of the audience holding back an onslaught of tears.
Brandon had just read his own obituary. He wrote it that morning as he prepared the last few details of the teaching. His desire was to shock every person in the room with the realization that one day, maybe near or far, someone could be reading their obituary.
“How do you want to be remembered?” he asked and paused silently afterwards. Then he challenged, “Are you living that life right now?”
The music started to play so softly as the stage behind him began to glow from the increasing light. The worship leader sang and closed in prayer, dismissing the youth out into the world. As they readied to leave he asked them to pick up a half-sheet of paper and write their own obituary.
Brandon knew these kids, He had taught some of them for years. He knew their struggles, he saw the lives they lived outside the walls of the Church. He knew that many of them knew the answers to the questions he asked. He watched them sing songs every service, some with their hands held high. He saw them interact with one another. He knew that once these kids left the room and went back out to the ‘real world’ that many would forget the message and just go on living as they saw fit.
Many, I am certain, will never forget the message he gave that night. They will remember how Brandon stood before them, hands trembling while holding a piece of paper, reading the words aloud of an obituary, penned by himself hours before. He knew how he'd be remembered, because he was clearly living the life what was recounted on that paper.
Even more will never forget another man, reading that same obituary five days later to many of the same faces. There was standing room only, as we gathered in that crowded room to mourn his passing.
I received a phone call three days earlier. Brandon had died that morning in a motorcycle accident, less than 36 hours after delivering that message.
At his funeral, there were half-sheets of paper left on each seat. I picked up a sheet and started to read. It said, in part:
His life was characterized by faith, integrity, dependability, self-sacrifice and humility. He rejected passivity, accepted responsibility, led courageously and is experiencing God’s greater reward. He died well and left nothing unfinished.
Brandon wrote this while he was still alive. He had a clear vision of how God wanted him to be remembered and he lived to do so. While, he was never able to be a 'passionate husband' and 'loving father,' as Brandon had written in hope, everyone in that room knew he would be.
While he is experiencing God’s greater reward, God's reward is something that Brandon thought we could experience today, right now. Brandon believed Jesus, when He spoke of the Kingdom being present now! Brandon had His Paradigm so deeply written on his heart that he lived as he knew he should and challenged others to do the same.
He stood on the stage in front of the youth. The lighting seemed perfect, as if Hollywood itself had hired its best technicians to have him dimly lit as the center of all attention. He stood, his eyes watering, as he held the small half-sheet of paper in his hand. His lips were already quivering before he began to read.
He was twenty-three years old. He had just graduated from college. This was the first summer of the rest of his life. As all of God's messages are, the timing of his teaching was perfectly planned.
As he finished reading, his ears encountered a long silence. The all-too-welcoming darkness in the room hid the somber faces but could not muffle the sound of the audience holding back an onslaught of tears.
Brandon had just read his own obituary. He wrote it that morning as he prepared the last few details of the teaching. His desire was to shock every person in the room with the realization that one day, maybe near or far, someone could be reading their obituary.
“How do you want to be remembered?” he asked and paused silently afterwards. Then he challenged, “Are you living that life right now?”
The music started to play so softly as the stage behind him began to glow from the increasing light. The worship leader sang and closed in prayer, dismissing the youth out into the world. As they readied to leave he asked them to pick up a half-sheet of paper and write their own obituary.
Brandon knew these kids, He had taught some of them for years. He knew their struggles, he saw the lives they lived outside the walls of the Church. He knew that many of them knew the answers to the questions he asked. He watched them sing songs every service, some with their hands held high. He saw them interact with one another. He knew that once these kids left the room and went back out to the ‘real world’ that many would forget the message and just go on living as they saw fit.
Many, I am certain, will never forget the message he gave that night. They will remember how Brandon stood before them, hands trembling while holding a piece of paper, reading the words aloud of an obituary, penned by himself hours before. He knew how he'd be remembered, because he was clearly living the life what was recounted on that paper.
Even more will never forget another man, reading that same obituary five days later to many of the same faces. There was standing room only, as we gathered in that crowded room to mourn his passing.
I received a phone call three days earlier. Brandon had died that morning in a motorcycle accident, less than 36 hours after delivering that message.
At his funeral, there were half-sheets of paper left on each seat. I picked up a sheet and started to read. It said, in part:
His life was characterized by faith, integrity, dependability, self-sacrifice and humility. He rejected passivity, accepted responsibility, led courageously and is experiencing God’s greater reward. He died well and left nothing unfinished.
Brandon wrote this while he was still alive. He had a clear vision of how God wanted him to be remembered and he lived to do so. While, he was never able to be a 'passionate husband' and 'loving father,' as Brandon had written in hope, everyone in that room knew he would be.
While he is experiencing God’s greater reward, God's reward is something that Brandon thought we could experience today, right now. Brandon believed Jesus, when He spoke of the Kingdom being present now! Brandon had His Paradigm so deeply written on his heart that he lived as he knew he should and challenged others to do the same.
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